I had a good day on Halloween. It was strange and wonderful to get to the end of the day and realize that it was a good one.
Losing my dad has left a hole in my heart. I couldn't begin to explain it here. At least, I couldn't begin to explain as I stayed up late writing this on Wednesday night. He was an immense presence in my life. I will share a small thing both because I can't quite go into the whole thing but also because I don't have time to write it and then run it through the grammar checker to correct all the typos.
And I don't feel like crying more than I already am.
So, the small thing.
I generally keep a running conversation/argument in my head at all times. It's how I process things. I do not believe that anyone will be surprised to discover that I exist in a perpetual state of meditative argument, but it really does help. I find that I think more clearly when I have to explain myself to someone, even if it's just a voice in my head. That voice has always been relentless and challenging in ways that sometimes hurt but almost always help. It has always helped me to facedown that challenge and to know that I have genuinely considered any idea that I was going to shape my choices or my opinions. This process has, over time, made me a more considered and thoughtful person as I have always sought to expand my perspective to better engage in this internal dialogue.
I don't think I realized until my father passed that I was always talking to him. That I was always preparing to explain myself and my ideas to him.
On the one hand, I appreciate how he'll always be with me, but on the other hand, it just breaks my heart to know that, on some level, I'm preparing for a conversation that I'll never get to have again.
It's really hard.
But Sunday was a good day. It was Halloween, and our new house is right in the middle of a serious trick-or-treating hot spot. I have never been in a trick-or-treating hot spot before, and holy shit, it is terrific. We had something like 350 people come to the house for candy. Apparently, that's a pretty slow year. Pre-pandemic, it would be up around 500, which is an insane number.
The kids were dressed up to go out. I put on a Superman costume to hand out candy. There was so much candy and so many kids, and the entire experience just filled me with joy. It was joyful to see all these kids our trick or treating like the world is normal and good. It was joyful to see high school kids put on a lousy costume and go out to get free candy because they're still kids. It was so fun that I’m probably going to turn our house into one of THOSE Halloween houses next year just to get even more into it. I loved every minute of it.
It was impossible to be sad in the face of an ocean of joy.
My dad could not have given less of a shit about Halloween generally. But he would have loved to see all those kids in all those costumes too. I wish I could talk to him about it. I feel like I know what he would say.
There are more bad days to come, but it's really nice to know that there are good days too. I will see more of them soon.
Our Dumb World
Since I wrote something sad, there are only fun things from here on out.
WELCOME TO THE CAR CULT
I’m honestly too big for most sports cars. Too tall and broad of shoulder to have an interest in sliding down into some fancy European speed machine that looks like a snakes head. HOWEVER, there is one sports car that, if I were prepared to waste a shit ton of money, that I would buy and happily drive at dangerous speeds throughout greater King County and surrounding environs. Everyone should have a stupid car they love and this is mine.
I have driven one truly high end sports car in my life. It was my dads car. I was allowed to drive for approximately 4 minutes and then never ever allowed to drive it again.
Worth it.
Even at extralegal speeds, I realized I didn't really have to brake for corners. I boggled as the Corvette shot out of turns without so much as a stutter. When I had to brake, the Brembos held every corner in a headlock. Without even really trying, I dropped my friend in the Type R twice. The C8 ripped so hard, it shook loose lunatics from the rocks and boulders as it blew past. The only thing slowing me on the way down the hollers came out of the woods like a brightly colored hallucination.
A side-by-side apparated from the trees. I knew four-by-fours climb rocks all over those hills, but honestly, I didn't even see it drive onto the road in front of me. It was just there, rigged with neon and steered by a local giant in Realtree camo. I thought I'd have to slam on the brakes, but he knew the road well. The side-by-side leaned and rocked hard around each corner. I envisioned the phrasing of the police report I'd have to fill out: A huge man in camo cut off my Corvette, then leaned his entire massive body like an Olympic sailor from side to side until even that didn't help. The crater containing his body and the remains of the flossiest overgrown golf cart I have ever seen may be found a mile and a half below us.
Despite every law of physics, he didn't crater. When I finally found a safe stretch of road to pass him, he pumped his fist as we zipped by down the hill and out of the kind of giddy automotive wormhole only spaceships like the C8 can navigate. I heard him say "Hell yeah, brother," as we left, even if I didn't.
THE COOGEE BAY POO MYSTERY
First of all, I cannot describe how quickly and excitedly I clicked on the link titled “Coogee Bay Poo Mystery”. Second of all, As I was reading this I was absolutely infuriated that I had never heard about this story before. It’s absolutely amazing because it happened and because apparently this caused a years long media firestorm. If anything, it clearly wasn’t broadcast enough because how on earth did I miss out on these incredible headlines and articles?!?
Also, this incident has not rocketed up the list of global events that I wish we had all been on twitter for. I’m sad that the amateur detectives of reddit didn’t get a chance at this before the trail went cold.
The events of that day are still not entirely clear, but what is known is this: At some point in the evening, the Whytes complained about the price of an adult serve of gelato ($19) from the hotel’s new restaurant. In order to keep the customers happy, the hotel’s manager hand-delivered a complimentary bowl to the table.
At 6.39pm, Jessica Whyte took a bite and quickly spat it out before wiping her mouth on a serviette. There’s no other way to say it: The “chocolate” gelato wasn’t chocolate at all. It was shit. Human shit.
“There were four scoops including vanilla, chocolate and hazelnut. At the bottom, there appeared to be chocolate,” Whyte told the Sydney Morning Heraldat the time. “Greedily, I went for it ahead of the kids. Thank heavens I did. The stench, the taste … I spat the food into a napkin and immediately I was sick.”
THE PROFOUND DISRESPECT OF BLADE 2
H/T Rob Hebert
I won’t preview much of this absolutely fantastic article except to say that Blade 2 is one of the five best super hero movies of all time and I am prepared to fight people over this claim.
Oh Shit! Suuuuupeeeer ki– gawt daaaamn– Y’alll see that kick?!
Blade kicked dude so hard he Fruit Roll up’d himself.
How you kick a man so hard he lands Tony Hawk’s 900?
Fam went over the rail like a spilled drink.
Listen, if you ever get Superkicked so hard that it makes you Simone Biles in the air,
you need a new line of work. Security is not for you.
THE MACHINE OF ALABAMA
My trip into super local Alabama politics began with this amazing article detailing the electoral shenanigans associated with this years homecoming queen election. About which..
The amount of electoral rules around the homecoming election is staggering. To even have financial disclosures is kind of incredible
It was so scandalous that the winner GOT BOOED AT THE HOMECOMING GAME. That’s some really outstanding scandal.
And my trip continued with learning about The Machine. The collection of fraternities and sororities that kind of controls Alabama politics. Yes, it’s as amazing as it sounds.
Side note: I would watch the shit out of a movie detailing the first time a candidate beet The Machine for student office.
The Machine, the former Alpha Rho chapter of Theta Nu Epsilon at the University of Alabama, is a coalition of Panhellenic sororities and IFC and NPHC fraternities which formed a secret society with some degree of influence over campus and Alabama state politics. The group, which has operated in varying degrees of secrecy since 1914 (though its roots run deeper into the 19th century), is credited with selecting and ensuring the election of candidates for Student Government Association, Homecoming Queen, and other influential on-campus and off-campus offices, including the Student Government Association Senate. It was evidently first publicly noted as "a political machine" in 1928 by Alabama's campus newspaper, The Crimson White. Then in a 1945 article in the newspaper, it was referred to as "the machine", and the name has stuck ever since. It is alleged that The Machine plays a real role in both the politics of the student community and in the political careers of numerous Alabama Politicians.